The Written LAB-Oratory

Presenting Truth disguised as Fiction. And exposing Fiction disguised as Truth.

Archive for December 2012

A Christmas Gift: The Sheer Madness of Love.

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The great problem I would have with being an atheist, let alone, an antitheist, is my intense lack of faith in accidents on such an immense scale.  I play poker (poorly) and know the odds of hitting a simple inside straight or making a royal flush on the river.  Of course if you do suck out, the odds on that hand are 1 in 1.  But to believe that your hand’s success invalidates the shear reality of math is a kind of willful hubris that I just don’t have the imagination to trust.

I look out on the night sky and see a vast universe that may be one of many.  I live on a planet that is one of many in a solar system that is one many in a galaxy that is one of many.  I am a man, one of many in a species that trundles along throughout history with other species of flora and fauna.  To the atheist, this is proof that we are nothing special.  They have an abundance of faith in utility, matter, blind luck.

But in my lack of faith I don’t see evidence of the mundane.  I see the efforts of a mad lover trying to express Himself through his art.  Each life a sonnet.  Each star a symphony.  …every opus littering the work shop of an obsessed artist struggling to be understood through, and by, his children.

It’s a condition every small “c” creator understands.  Half-finished poems.  Long ago penned notes strung uneasily on treble and base. Sculpture mocking from beneath the stone.  Great bends of metal that refuse to conform to image of the mind.  All scattered about as his uneasy mind hurriedly tries to capture the latest inspiration, trying to get this one right, only to find, it too, has a mind of its own.

Writer or welder, thespian or terpsichorean… We all search for that elusive place where inspiration intersects with reality.  And even when the work is done as best we can complete it… When we put pen or torch down.  When scene has cut and coda done…  The ache begins.  What is next?

A creator creates because he has no choice.  To stifle that impulse, is to induce despair in a mind diseased by love of creation itself.  That is the universe(s) I see; madness reaching out to its creations, begging to be understood.  For only when the creations understand the creator does the creator find that bliss of perfection.  Which may well be why all artists are just a bit off center.  We will never have a story say, “thank you,” or an expertly performed pirouette look back at its dancer in awe.

I can’t be an atheist for, at my heart’s core, I am an artist and I recognize the sketches and sheet music that a mind, undone by its need to make real its passions, has strewn across math, science, and matter. I see the love notes in the vast cosmos and smile while at the same time cursing my pitiful craft… The ache is always there.

I understand God.   I don’t fathom it.  I will never comprehend it. But I understand.  So this Christmas, I will give you the only gift I can think apropos and the one gift I will almost surely never receive:

Thank you.

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Written by lablount

December 25, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Posted in Catholic, Christmas, Religious

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Conservatives and “Plan B” or… Everything is Proceeding As I Have Foreseen.

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I was looking for a way to discuss this but every time I sat at the keyboard my mind just went, “Meh, not ready yet.  Still hurting.”  The November elections left me in a funk for days. Not so much about the liberal that lost but for the socialist that won.  I processed through the first four stages of grief, added three sub-stages of my own (Pizza, Beer, and Range Time), flirted with Stage five, and still haven’t found a way to get to stages six and seven.

In the back of my mind, however, there was a small feeling of relief: I never had to be date-raped by the Statist Republican Leadership ever again.  Since ’88 they’ve been telling us to shut up and vote for the guy they gave us or there would be this endless parade of horribles.  “If you love America you will do what we say or you’ll get Socialized Medicine, a bottomless pit of debt, an Imperial President, destruction of The Constitution, full on Socialism, overarching federal regulations, destruction of the culture, loss of fee speech, the death of religious freedom, a castrated Second Amendment and, the one thing you fear most… you’ll be paying for abortions and will be materially complicit in the deaths of thousands, if not millions, of babies.”

Well… guess what?  We did vote for posers like W, lairs like his father, moderates like Dole, and out right lefties like Romney.  Heck, we even voted for Wendell Willkie II, or as most know him, John “I thought the media was going to give me a pass” McCain.  Yes, we voted for them because we did fear the worst and held out hope that the GOP was still, somewhere deep down inside, the party of Regan.   After so many trips to the dance with a date someone else picked for us, we were getting tired of being left in the corner while they partied with the pretty girls.  However our love of country and fear of Socialism kept us in line.

We voted for all these losers because we hoped we could stem the tide of fiscal irresponsibility and social decay.  Now, after supporting these abusive boyfriends who, all, at one time or another, threw us under the bus, then blamed us for the disaster they caused, we have almost all the parade of horribles virtually enshrined as official doctrine.   Which means, we have nothing left to lose.  I wondered if others felt the same.  I now have my answer.

Speaker Boehner and his gang of moderate-to-left Republicans were told to “shove it” by The House conservatives on the “Plan B” vote. Immediately, the party elites, fresh from their cocktail parties, all decked out in their golf (or spay-on?) tans, began to mumble about the horribles again.  They complained that now, because of the conservatives, the momentum was now back in The Senate.  No, you sad old fools, it’s back in The Senate because YOU wanted to continue to be Socialist Lite™ and we don’t have to go along with it any more.

Of course Mr. Speaker will have his revenge.  Last week when Mr. Speaker was handing out the goodies and kicked several good conservative reps out of key committees, it became clear that the party elites wanted to clean, well… House, and were happy to lose The House to do it.  I started to wonder how they were going to do it.  They would need some miracle to beat down the real conservatives. Enter Newtown.

If you remember the Columbine shooting and the political barn raising held on the bodies of the dead; the ’94 AWB was passed to make life safe for the children.  Never mind that it did nothing but drive up the price of standard capacity magazines and make the AR-15 the number 1 selling rifle in the U.S.  The purely cosmetic ban was the Left punishing the Right.  … And the left suffered.

America threw a, “…temper tantrum…,” claimed the shocked and distraught Peter Jennings during the ’94 election night coverage, just a few short weeks after the ban passed.  Dems were booted from power left and right.  And I mean Left AND Right.  But the conservative wing of the party never recovered.   The mid-nineties was the official death knell of the Blue Dogs with any power.  The Kennedy wing of the party, although they suffered defeat, was much more entrenched in the leadership and survived to fight another day.

This was all just a byproduct of Clinton’s desire to take the party by the horns and knock down the Congressional leaders who marched into The White House after his inauguration to tell him how things really were going to be.  But they forgot they weren’t dealing with a puppet, they were dealing with a redneck used to getting dirty.  So Willy stood aside and let the Party elites get punted.  Of course, turnabout was fair play in 2008 when Kennedy picked Barry over Hil.

Don’t think Boehner didn’t learn something from this.  He’s going to side with The POTUS and try to allow a bill to pass with the faith that the party elites will survive and the weaker, newer, conservatives will fall even though they would not have voted for it.  The “R” next to their name will be enough to poison support.

Will it work?  I don’t know yet.  But I do not look forward to the next few months.  I’m really afraid that my predictions will come true and I don’t pull off the maniacal laugh thing very well.

But, for the time being, it’s good to see other conservatives exercising the same freedom I feel.  Hopefully it’s the same resignation that led to the Battling Bastards of Bastogne and not The Little Bighorn.

Written by lablount

December 22, 2012 at 12:07 am