The Written LAB-Oratory

Presenting Truth disguised as Fiction. And exposing Fiction disguised as Truth.

Archive for June 2010

Oh No, Joe! The Internet “Kill Switch”

leave a comment »

Here’s my biggest problem with this.  Above and WAY BEYOND the thought that a single person could “turn off” the internet, is the false notion that Government can make it “safer”.  So let me get this straight, .gov, which can’t even get a letter from point A to point B without MASSIVE budget short falls….  .gov which still thinks that spending more money on the NEA will improve schools.  .gov which thinks being a dad is about putting on nail polish… That same .gov thinks that centralizing internet security around some faceless bureaucrats is going to make it safer. 

Once more for the slow kids…  When .gov regulates something that is already working, that industry goes to hell *COUGHNEACOUGH*.  And the whole reason the internet is a tough nut to crack, is that it is a) decentralized, and b) has people who are accountable at the business/local level.  

When some country wants to mess with the DNS servers so it can block sites that it doesn’t want its people to see for fear that the peasants may show up at the palace with pitchforks in their hands and bloodlust in there heart, the internet manages to heal itself just fine.  … And rapidly.  Why?  Because there are a lot of people whose jobs depend on the smooth functioning of the internet.  They work together to fix these issues because time is money. 

Unlike .gov, where time is someone else’s money, so who gives a crap.

If Johnny Jihad decides he’s going to Tunnel his way into “Ye Olde Defense Contractor” and cause some mayhem in Allah’s name, then, by God, the CIO of YODeC better have his shiznitz together or he’s going to end up on the street with half his department.   Being able to eat is a good incentive to keep all the walls defended.

If Billy Bureaucrat messes up and lets Johnny in and something bad happens, he gets moved to a new department with a letter of reprimand that will probably hasten his next promotion to get him out of his new boss’ hair.  Not exactly great incentive to do ones best.

The Market works; Just look at BP.  What’s that you say, BP is a shining example of failure?  Not so fast.  BP’s failure, yes.  The Market, no.  BP played fast and loose with the rules and got burned.  Immediately stocks tanked, people lost jobs, and the CEO got put in the pillory of public opinion.  The rest of the Oil industry is watching their operations like a hawk.  Barring sabotage, this is not going to happen again anytime soon.  Not for the stupid reasons that this one happened.  

Now what happens when Uncle Sam plays fast and loose with the rules and lets something got to hell *COUGHWELFARE/IMIGRATIONPOLICY/GREATSOCIERY/EDUCATIONCOUGH?  Well, they appoint a Blue Ribbon Bipartisan Committee made up of retired insiders, who have no accountability, that takes two years to blame someone else in a 2000 page report that puts even political wonks to sleep.  … Oh, and they give themselves a raise.  …Oh, and you keep voting them back in.

One last thing… If you have read this and think, “Well, that’s simple!  Just make Government more efficient and give them the needed assets to respond faster,” then I suggest you take a look at the ruthlessly efficient regimes that have existed in the not so distant past.  If you are comfortable having a .gov so in control of everything with RDFs that can spring into action at a moments notice, then you’ll be unhappy to realize that the ONLY thing governments can control with ruthless efficiency is their own people.  Everything else is still under the thumb of Murphy and his minions.

Written by lablount

June 29, 2010 at 3:22 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Newton, Einstein, and Burritos.

leave a comment »

So it wasn’t a bad day, per say. I mean, it’s not like I died. How many people get to say, “Hey, you know that fire fight that happened in Midtown that was on the news? Yeah… that one. That was ME!”

But it’s not like I would say that. I don’t go for braggadocio. I’m more the, “Holy snot rockets, it’s a camera, DIVE! DIVE! DIVE! SOUND COLLISION! DIVE!” I don’t like the attention. Besides, it’s bad for business.

So there I was, minding my own business, casing this antique store store from the comfort of my front seat. Why I was casing the place is not really important. At least not to what happened at that moment. And don’t worry, I wasn’t going to steal anything that didn’t need stealing.

As I was saying, I was just sitting there in my car, eating a burrito, when *WHAM!*, I hear two cars pile into each other. …it’s Houston, people practice physics fails all day long. Hell, the stupid Monorail route is a virtual “Mig Alley” of punched out cars and pedestrians because they or the trolley driver thought that the laws of inertia, mass, momentum, and Murphy didn’t apply to them.

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by lablount

June 1, 2010 at 11:41 pm